What I Want
by AmandaN1992
Summary: Max admits to Fang one night that she hasn't been happy in a while... He gives her some advice for how to be happier and it seems to do the trick! Originally published under my other account, but I'm combining accounts and want everything in one place. Please R&R!


The squall outside raged on as the Flock slept serenely, thankful to finally be able to get some shut eye in a warm hotel.

I sat on the windowsill inspecting the rain, watching the lightning carve like a razor across the ominous sky and listening to the thunder rumble, thinking about how lonely it would be to be stuck out in this storm.

Gazzy, Iggy, and Fang were in the room next door, adjoined to my own through a two-way door in the wall between the rooms. Angel and Nudge were situated in the bed farthest from the window, snoring so lightly it was barely audible.

It was cold. I'd been through worse, far worse; but for some reason, in this heated room with readily available blankets, I was the coldest I had been in a long time. Nothing seemed to warm me anymore. Not ten blankets; not a high-powered heater; not a sweltering fire. I had begun to wonder if the invincible Maximum Ride would ever recover or if the loss of warmth was the result of an impending expiration date.

The wood of the windowsill creaked beneath me as I stood again and headed over to the side of Angel's bed. She had been the best little girl a "mommy" could wish to have for so many wonderful years, so why had she suddenly become so rebellious? It wasn't like the Angel the Flock had known for the whole of her existence…

I knelt on the floor at the side of the bed and delicately brushed away the beautiful golden hair that had fallen into her face as she slept. Her eyelids fluttered and she shifted, but didn't wake. I let out a sigh and stood again, leaning over to lightly brush my fingers across Nudge's smooth chocolaty skin, smiling lightly at the thought that I would never see her being quiet in daylight.

"Weird to see her quiet, isn't it?"

I spun around toward the wall with the door and came face to face with a disheveled Fang, apparently just out of bed. His barefoot, messy appearance was so good to see. I hadn't seen anything relaxing in a while and the look he had on his face of sleeplessness and boredom was one I hadn't seen since before Jeb disappeared.

"What're you doing up?" I asked him, moving toward him as noiselessly as I could manage. With the door open and children in both rooms, there was really nowhere for us to talk that wouldn't wake them.

"You were sitting by the window, right? I thought I heard something, so I got up. I haven't been able to sleep lately."

"That's understandable. The mosquitoes are awful lately… It's nice to finally have a mosquito-free bedroom and a shower."

"Mosquitoes aren't keeping me up, Max."

I was confused. What else could keep a man up who had so much need for sleep? "Then what is?"

"Just thoughts, really. About anything. Everything," he shrugged and walked over to the windowsill I had recently left. He sat in the chair by the small table and I assumed we would be talking long enough for sitting to be worthwhile.

"I don't understand, Fang. Our Flock has been changing. What's going on with Angel, why does Nudge suddenly only want to hang out with Iggy, and what's going on with Gazzy wandering away all the time?"

"I think Angel is at that age when she's trying to push everybody's buttons to see how much she can get away with. And Nudge seems to have quite the crush on Iggy. I'm not sure about Gazzy. Maybe he's building a bomb?" It was quite the speech for the ever quiet Fang. He smiled at me, the tired look in his eyes telling me he didn't want to talk about this right now.

"Fang, have you ever wanted to see the future?"

"Yeah," he said, as if wondering where this was going.

"What did you want to know from it?" I asked, hoping he wanted to see the same thing I did. For months now I had wanted to see if Fang and I would end up together forever or if we would try to kill each other during an argument. I wanted so badly to know whether what we had was worth pursuing or if it should be left to whither.

"I wanted to know if we would beat the School. Wanted to know whether our two Flocks would ever be one Flock again, too. Mostly, I wanted to know about us…"

"What do you mean by "us"?" I asked, leaning forward so I could hear better without him having to be too loud.

"You know, just… Us… As a couple…. You and me…" he looked me straight in the eye as if begging me not to tease him about the admission.

"Maybe we really are perfect for one another… I wanted to see the same thing, but I definitely can't… Too bad no one in the Flock can see the future…" I twisted up my face in a show of disappointment.

"If anyone ends up with another power like being able to see the future, it'd most likely be Angel… Have you noticed she seems to have _wayyy_ more powers than the rest of us?"

No, I hadn't noticed, but now that he mentioned it…

I must have spaced out for quite some time before Fang started to get worried. I came back to reality when something touched my knee lightly and I refocused my sight to see Fang kneeling in front of me, asking if I was alright.

Of course I told him I was, but the truth was, I hadn't been very happy lately. I know the stories about how many teenagers have depression or anxiety or whatever, but I didn't think I could have those sorts of things… Maybe I was wrong?

"Fang, what should I do to make myself happy again? It feels like I haven't been happy in a long time…"

He cocked his head to the side and looked at me inquisitively. I just stared back blankly before I looked away out the window. I felt Fang's hand come up to touch my left cheek. For a moment, he just let it stay there, motionless, but soon after, he moved my face to look in his direction. I didn't want to because I felt weak, but I'm not as strong as Fang and I didn't want to start a fight anyways. When I looked back, he smiled a little half-hearted grin.

"Try doing the thing you want to do at the exact moment you think of it. It'll make you feel happier because you'll be acting spontaneously and then, maybe you'll even discover something new that you really like, right? It couldn't hurt. What's the first thing you can think of that you want to do? What do you want to do right now?"

At that same moment, looking into Fang's eyes, all I wanted to do was hold him tight and be held in return. I wanted to feel the softness and warmth of his lips against my own, and I wanted to fall asleep in his arms. I couldn't possibly say that, though, could I?

But I did. I said to him, "I want a hug. And I want to hug you back."

As Fang's arms wrapped firmly around my waist, I wrapped my arms around his neck and buried my face in the crook of his neck, twirled my fingers through the strands of hair at the base of his head, and stood on tiptoes in order to do it all at once.

We must have stood there for minutes, and I was starting to shake, unable to stay on my tiptoes much longer. Fang must have noticed, because suddenly we were sitting in that same chair from before, him sitting straight forward and me sitting perpendicular on his lap. It was a lot easier on my toes, but his legs were probably going to be hurting after not too long.

"What do you want now, Max?"

"Nothing in particular… Nothing I'm going to tell you about, at least."

"Why not? You can trust me, Max…"

I knew I could trust Fang, I just didn't know if he would turn me down… But his lips looked so soft and warm and smooth and so incredibly inviting that I just couldn't help myself.

"I want you to kiss me," I whispered in his ear, then nuzzled my head back into the crook of his neck. He stiffened for a moment, so I assumed he didn't want to kiss me. We hadn't kissed for a while… Probably close to a year. We hadn't had the time, or the luxury of being able to take a five minute break… It'd been non-stop for almost a year. I missed his kisses more than I was willing to admit.

Fang stood up, carrying me over to the bed. I figured he would tuck me in and tell me to get some sleep because I "wasn't thinking straight", but instead, he set me down on the bed lightly before crawling into the bed and lying down on the soft sheets with me. While he cuddled up to me, legs intertwining with my own, arms circling my waist, shifting an arm to become a pillow for my head, he whispered something along the lines of "not a problem", then kissed me square on the forehead.

"That's not the kind of kiss I wanted, you know."

"No? Well what kind do you want, then?" The look in his eyes made it clear that he was teasing me; he knew exactly what I wanted but he wanted me to ask for it.

"Shut up, Fang. You already know."

"Know what?" His smile grew even more when I huffed and frowned.

Fang kissed me then, the softest, most wonderful kiss I had ever shared with him. His lips were the most amazing thing I had felt in the longest time; even better than the warm shower had been. As his lips moved against mine at an excruciatingly slow but sensual pace, I wrapped my arms around his neck again and pulled his head closer to my own, deepening the kisses we shared.

One kiss had turned into two, two into three, then more and more until I had lost count. Our tongues met in a dance of soft passion while the warmth of our bodies so close to one another made me feel groggy. Mid-kiss, Fang pulled away just long enough to ask me a magnificent question.

"Max?" he asked between each kiss to my cheeks, neck and forehead.

I didn't answer. I didn't have to; all I did was look at him next to me.

"Can I stay here tonight?"

I snuggled into his body again and grabbed hold of his rumpled t-shirt in one hand before pulling the comforter up and over our bodies with the other. That was the only answer he was going to get.

My eyes drooped increasingly each minute and I could tell his were doing the same. I kissed him one more time before I snuggled even closer and said goodnight through a small yawn.

"Max; one more question."

I opened my eyes just a little more to show him I was listening.

"Is it alright if I love you?"

"Not unless I can love you too…"

"I love you, Max. I've loved you for so long I can't remember when I first realized that there weren't enough words to describe how I felt about you…"

I kissed him again, lighter than ever before, then whispered against his lips exactly what he had told me.

"I love you, Fang. I've loved you for so long I can't remember when I first realized that there weren't enough words to describe how I felt about you…"

"Max, will you go out with me? I mean, we don't have a lot of down time, but if I could just hear that you'll go out with me… Max… It'd make me so happy…"

"Are you sure you want to date me? I hear voices, remember?"

"What do the voices have to say about us dating?"

"Last I heard, the voice tried to convince me that we were soulmates…"

"Perfect…" he smiled, kissed me once more, and then wrapped me in his warm embrace before we drifted off to sleep.

I awoke to the sweet smell of Fang; no cologne, just the smell of his skin, soft and smooth and gentle next to my own.

The scars that showed looked painful. No one had ever really told me how many scars they had, but as I looked at Fang's chest and arms barren in the bed beside me, I realized the number was far greater than I had thought.

Fang stirred, but didn't wake. I twisted my fingers in his hair again and listened to the sound of his breathing.

"Max, what happened?" sounded Angel from across the room.

"Hmm? What do you mean, hunnie?"

"You're in bed with Fang… did he get hurt? Did you finally tell him you love him?"

"Yeah… I finally did…" I smiled.

I heard Angel turn to tell Nudge and suddenly the entire other room shouted "FINALLY!", making me blush unceremoniously.

Fang twisted in the bed to face me, then opened his eyes slowly. "I love you," he whispered.

Apparently Angel was in his mind, because she shouted to everyone that we were, indeed, together.

Fang's hand slid languidly up the side of my thigh, over my hip, and across my stomach before he grabbed my chin to pull me in for a sensual kiss.

Gazzy could be heard pretending to gag in the other room but Fang didn't let me go. The kiss continued for long enough to scar any young kid… I almost felt bad for Gazzy. Almost. I was far too lost in the kiss to really care whether anyone was watching or not.

Nudge walked over to the door that adjoined our two hotel rooms and unceremoniously shut them both; probably to give Fang and I some privacy. I'd have to thank her for that later…

Fang's hand cupped the back of my neck and his legs twisted around my own so that we couldn't separate. I made a fist with the hand in his hair and playfully tugged on it. Fang scrunched up his nose in mock anger but slowly trailed kisses down the entirety of my neck and back up again.

I sighed, pleased to finally be able to hold him without feeling so incredibly weird about it. Never before had Fang told me in the way he had last night that he cared for me and the floating feeling that had followed it hadn't dissipated yet. I wanted so badly to talk to him and yet I wanted so badly for us to never need words again.

Being physical with Fang was one thing I was going to have to get used to in moderation, of course, but the kisses, the closeness, and the warmth were my new favorite things.

When Fang lay back and looked up at the ceiling blankly, I wondered what I'd done wrong.

"My God, I love you, Max…" he said, almost disbelievingly.

"I love you too, Fang," I whispered, shuffling over to place my head on his chest and to twist my legs around his like a gentle vice. Fang's eyes closed before he told me what he was so worried about the last few weeks.

"I thought that maybe you wouldn't like me anymore because we haven't been able to spend any time alone for so long… I was worried that maybe you'd stopped liking me and had found someone else. And it didn't matter how many times Angel told me otherwise; I could never stop thinking that I wasn't the guy you wanted to be with."

"Oh my, Fang, I'm sure that's the longest speech you've ever given… But, y'know what? I've always loved you. I used to love you as another caged kid at the School, then as a friend who suffered the way I did, then as a brother, as a crush I never thought I could have, and now I love you this way; the way that makes me want to spend every minute with you, in your arms, touching you, holding your hand, and the rest of that mushy stuff."

"Max?"

"Hmm," I mumbled as I pushed my face into the crook of his neck and breathed deeply, eyes fluttering at the scent of him.

"I never loved her."

I sat up and looked at him, staring so blankly up at the boring ceiling.

"Loved who?" I asked, genuinely curious as to whether my jealousy had been worth it.

"Lisa. Brigid. Whomever you want to think of. I never loved either of them. Your jealousy was my way of telling myself that you maybe cared a little more than I thought, so I tried my best to get a rise out of you."

"You jerk!" I screeched.

"Max, I didn't mean to make you mad. Please, lay down again, forget I said it…"

I could never forget that comment. I had been so incredibly angry, but for him to call me jealous wasn't at all acceptable. "I was definitely NOT jealous!"

Fang looked shocked. He smirked a little and his eyes softened when he looked into my own. His hand reached up to cup the back of my neck and his fingers ran through my hair, catching the little tangles that my sleep had created and undoing them gently.

He kissed me then and I realized I had been jealous of Lisa and Brigid, but also realized he was jealous of my only other interest.

Our kisses had become so much more meaningful since last night, and this one was no exception. I pulled him towards me and he didn't refuse the kiss I offered. Our mouths parted and our tongues danced so sweetly that no one could have called this sort of kiss "gross"; not even Gazzy.

I couldn't wait to spend the day with Fang, able to touch him and kiss him and hug him whenever I wanted without people staring awkwardly…

I laughed into the kiss as we ended up once again tucked into the bedding and snuggled together. Fang chuckled into the kiss and it made the kiss all the more amazing.

A knock at the adjoining doors made us both jump.

A muffled voice asked if it was "safe to enter" and Fang and I didn't bother to answer, only snuggled closer and kissed a hundred more times before the little kids dragged us out of bed.

I think Fang and I must have kissed a thousand times that one day, in a hundred different places and a hundred different ways.

The End

Hey, I tried to make this a two-shot, but I don't know if I like it. Let me know, so I can delete the chapter if it sucks, cuz I don't want a chapter up if nobody likes it at all… :\

me

8/19/10 . chapter 2

well...

i can't say it was bad...

it was soooo sweet

i like it

the end;)

Evanescence852

8/18/10 . chapter 2

"Is it okay if I love you?" Fang asks Max

"Is it okay if I love this story?" I ask you

That was awesome:) But who's Mike? Ahahahha

I feel like I'm missing somethin! =) anywho great job!

~Rock on!~

xiHeartSkittles

7/15/10 . chapter 2

I like the chapter xDD

mimimi213

1/3/10 . chapter 2

loved it!

Psycho Pixie202

11/19/09 . chapter 2

the first chapter was cute and the 2nd just ok keep writing

LizTheBookNerd

11/16/09 . chapter 2

cute story. but i have a question. who is mike? i know there was sam in the second book but i cant recall there being a mike.

hawkstar2

10/30/09 . chapter 1

this story rocked! i loved it!

Weasley Baby

10/6/09 . chapter 2

this is good...but um, who is mike? Sam is the one Max went out with in SOF.

Rowena of Naxen

9/28/09 . chapter 2

so sweet!

-rowena

Anox2

9/18/09 . chapter 2

WRITE MORE!

BookAddict911

9/12/09 . chapter 2

THAT SO DID NOT SUCK! IT WAS AWESOME AND SO SWEET TO SEE THEM SHARE THEIR FEELINGS AND STUFF. THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER! I LOVED THIS CHAPTER AND YOU CAN'T DELETE IT. IT IS TOO CUTE TO DELETE!

Fangrules

9/9/09 . chapter 2

aw soo cute! i am in love with this fanfiction! it's just so sweet!

starsandwings4ever

9/8/09 . chapter 2

i love it! that was a good two shot!

Kina Kalamari

9/8/09 . chapter 2

Nice, but I have a question: Who's Mike? You were talking about Lissa and Brigid (well, actually, you said 'Lisa' but that's a common mistake), and then you said 'Mike'. Did you mean Sam? Because I don't remember any Mike that Fang should have been jealous of...Or any Mike at all, for that matter...

Still, wonderful job. Perfectly Faxy. =)

True She-wolf Werewolf

9/8/09 . chapter 2

LOVE IT! Like the shortness of this chapter UP!

mintyfresh

9/7/09 . chapter 2

I LUVED IT! it dusnt suk! itz reely gud!

WaterWings617

7/25/09 . chapter 1

aww, so cute :D

i loved it

fangluvr4eva

7/22/09 . chapter 1

aw, thats a really sweet story!

AlmostAGoodGirl

7/20/09 . chapter 1

I love this story! I wish you would've continued and made it more than a oneshot.

Xxmgxx3445xX

7/14/09 . chapter 1

Awh so cute =*]

Very adorable and sweet and fluffy :)

Loved it!

&&Andy

peacelovebooksx107

7/12/09 . chapter 1

holy crap! i'm in love with this fanfiction. its so adorable.

GleekingSam

7/10/09 . chapter 1

Max loves Fang; Fang loves Max; I love this one-shot :)

You've got nice sentence structure and vocab. I loved it!

panicromance

7/10/09 . chapter 1

oo, very good. I like it a lot.

R0GUE.R0BOT

7/9/09 . chapter 1

aw i love this fanfic it's so sweet and you do have good vocabulary, I'm glad to read a fanfic that has complete sentences that do not contain sentence fragments (i know i'm such a nerd haha)love it

Little Miss Understood

7/9/09 . chapter 1

Aww that was really sweet I liked it alot 3 3 3

CHSMR

7/9/09 . chapter 1

This story is beautiful :)

starsandwings4ever

7/9/09 . chapter 1

I LOVE IT! it was so cute, and fluffy, and faxy. this was great!

bookwurm96

7/9/09 . chapter 1

1,2,3...

aw!

so cute

Mo- The Reviewer

7/9/09 . chapter 1

Aw! So Cute!

AlmostAGoodGirl5

7/9/09 . chapter 1

This was the sweetest, most perfect, most needed story on here. It was completely not OOC, it was so on character I was surprised. It was so sweet and so perfect.

supernerdy

7/8/09 . chapter 1

Aw that was cute. At first I thought it was goin to be one of those Angel-is-a-goth-evil-7-year-old fics, but I think it made a very cute fluff. You also have a very good vocabulary. A lot of people don't like fics with good grammar and big words, but whats the point of typing these things if you are just going to throw what you know about the English language out a window? Good job. Is this a oneshot or are you going to continue?

Fangrules

7/8/09 . chapter 1

aw that was soo good. is it a oneshot? hope not if you can please carry on.


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